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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Hitting the Road

"The Philippine Blog Awards aims to recognize notable Filipino-owned blogs in their respective niches — a venue to showcase notable blogs with quality content that engages readers from around the globe."

March 31 is the most awaited day. Every single blogger in the Philippines, young and old, is excited to hit RCBC by a storm. Tears of joy will be shed, and select bloggers, will finally have their dreams for blogging come true. (So the drama.)

As young as just eight months (going nine, congratulations), this blog served as my outlet for all my rants about my college life. Envious of the blogs I've been seeing since, I strived hard to create a page that's worth reading. School never became a constraint, sometimes I even blog before I do the cramming, proof of my love for this corny (excuse me for my language) stupid web thing whatever they want to call it. And like what I said earlier I blog about school most of the time back then (perhaps another reason why I don't have readers then) so every day was recorded. Still, I wasn't able to get the attention of others. Lucky me.

To my surprise, after three straight months of blogging for almost every night, I got some readers, then commentators, and then fans (kidding aside). Up until recently, I have 140+ links in my blogroll and managed to make friends online, thanks to you, blog. I was even able to join Kuya Eric's blogging contest and managed to win for two weeks, another boost for my rise to blogging fame. (Hahaha.) And now, this one's coming up. Though I'm not a finalist, being a nominee is my pleasure. Well then, I guess I deserve a little break from the toxicity anyway.

Thank you to...

Shall I stop this drama now? There's only three damn days left (and counting), and I do not have my electronic raffle ticket yet.


Philippine Blog Awards
Awarding Night
March 31, 2007
6PM - 8PM
Podium 4, RCBC Theater
RCBC Building, Ayala cor. Buendia Ave., Makati City
Attire: Semi-formal to formal



[NOTE]

If you also like a ticket for the prestigious night, stumble upon here, okay? There'll be around a hundred tickets or so. Do you want to get yours? I'll have to get mine first. To the organizers, my e-mail is lonewolf_silencer17@yahoo.com

[/NOTE]

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Special Thanks:
to whoever nominated me, I really thank you for the effort that you exerted to do me this big favor. Though I was not able to qualify as a finalist (since I was unaware and I didn't expect it, too.) Thanks, really. I appreciate it.

*entry will be updated after the awards night, if ever I could come. I would. I should.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Of Roses and Party Dresses

I can't help but think about how women would talk and think whenever they are with their companions, their circle of friends. Yes I know, some girls may be flexible and can act normally around their boy friends (boyfriends also included), but they cannot hide the fact that they'd still behave differently when we are finally out of the scene. Sometimes, I'd see them murmuring and pointing people out in the middle of their conversation, while wearing their 'Dalagang Pilipina' smiles; a typical scene everywhere I go. I became too curious to know the reason behind those pretty smiles in their faces, that I wanted to become like them, even just for a day.

Since I was a small child, being a girl (or being with girls) has always been my wish. Now that twelve years have gone by, the thought still baffles me. I wanted to be a girl one day (Or was I a girl one day?). Don't get me wrong though, I wanted to, but I cannot, and I will not. Though in one desperate attempt, I tried being with them for almost half a day, only to see failure spank me in the face and hit me straight in the eye.

After trying to join them wherever they want to stroll (that includes bringing their bags along with me), standing and waiting for at least twenty minutes outside the door of the girl's CR restroom washroom whatever they call it, (making me more interested on what is concealed behind that door) everything just got more complicated. And still, at the end of the day, I just became a slave, perhaps a specimen for the 'evil plans' (excuse me for the term) that they’ve always wanted to try doing to us guys. Afraid as ever, the coward in me comes out whenever I am with them (the girls).

Being with them is easier said than done, that even talking would seem to be like conversing with three-year olds, (maybe that is why gays are around, for translation purposes) making it more fun to be a woman, or so I thought it to be. I do not know how or why, but I managed to build better relationships with girls than I did with guys. And I can't help but wonder how I did that. There's something in me that comes out everytime I think about it. I feel an aura that engulfs me, as if I was a woman myself in my past life. Mysterious as ever, girls always knock me off my feet.

Perhaps this is just paranoia that's trying to kill me. Perhaps this is just caused by being around twenty two ladies in our OT block. As I have tackled in a previous entry, sometimes they even ask me out on what's the real deal with my gender. Still, my curiosity starts to deepen as the days pass by. But instead of having the answer that I wanted, another mystery comes up and the answer I'm waiting for still evades my clumsy hands. Perhaps trying to coax the answer will not do me any good. Hopefully, the time will come that whatever it is I'm looking for just springs unbidden in my lap.

Women, they never cease to amaze me. Still, I guess I'll never be able to understand them. That is still debatable, though.

*to put this entry it in simple Tagalog terms, "Ang hirap lang talagang intindihin ng mga babae." I'm just kidding. ;)

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flight scheduled at 7:10:00 PM
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Twisted Fate

Somewhere in the world, two people's lives were intertwined by fate. Two less complicated souls, merged into one lifestream and became one big problem, well, at least for one of them. They had a complicated understanding, one that even the best psychologists (possibly all the gists you can think of) could not explain comprehensively. It was one of its kind.

Their situation was homicidal. Never did the guy understand what was happening to them (well, at least to him). He wanted to ask for some help, but still that help was nowhere to be found. He was stuck in the middle of a big obstacle course of life, confused on where to go and what to do. Still, he took everything for granted. Now he's about to suffer the consequences. What's more is that the girl doesn't know a thing about it. (Or so he hopes.) She was part of a big problem without even realizing the perils that she is about to face. Perhaps he had commited another sin to her, like what he always did. A friendship forged was about to be broken yet again. What he does hope is that it's for the better, though.

They were both innocent people, involved in such an obscure situation. They were simple dreamveavers, but their silk both got entangled in one web. They were once traveling on a straightforward roadtrip, but the path suddenly forked ahead of them. Confusion sinks in. Now, they are baffled by the circumstances. The fun is just starting, and I guess it would not be nice if someone was to spoil it.

Who's to be blamed? What's going to happen to them? Even I, the ill-fated writer of this complex story of their lives, do not know the answer to these questions.

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flight scheduled at 8:59:00 AM
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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

So

An only child that I am, I've always wondered how it feels like to have a sibling, older or more preferably younger than me. I was envious to those who have been gifted with at least one, though they always say that it's not that much of a gift at all. Sure, being the center of attention of your parents is a good ( when I say good, it's really good ) thing, but I always wanted to have a sibling, just one, perhaps even in my imaginary life. The thought did not escape my mind ever since.

And then, she came along.

Everything happened in a flash. Once upon a time, somewhere in the world, we were simply friends and classmates, but soon enough we became close to each other. I do not know why or how it happened, though. One thing that I know was that we shared a common frustration: having an older sibling. She was a real time elder sister to 2 girls, and I, as mentioned earlier, was an only child. Just to my surprise, we were suddenly calling ourselves 'ate' and 'kuya' the next day. She became my sister, younger and older at the same time. Everything was never the same again after that.

Since then, we had a what I call 'sibling understanding,' much like the way realtime siblings act to each other, but in a less complicated perspective. We would be sharing our secrets, trusting the other not to tell it to anybody and promising it as well. Texting was our only way to do it, as you all know that we do not really live under the same roof. Texting reminders was also a must. From eating lunch up until dinner, to sleeping early, ( though I don't do it always ) these messages were never out of my phone inbox every single day. Funny that it makes me think a second time if we're really 'parents,' of each other, rather than just simple 'siblings.'

But like what is in reality, a so-called sibling rivalry was, as always, inevitable. Though at our age, we ( at least myself ) we're still acting like young children twelve years back. We'd fight over petty things, and have a little quarrel over it for at least an hour. Though most of the time it's just simple drama, sometimes it's for real. In both cases, I am always the bad boy: she never did anything bad against me. I was always 'fighting' her, well, of course not literally. Not to mention myself teasing her about every flaw that I see in her, though I know she'd always fight back. Maybe we ( or it was just I ) would have some laughs, but deep inside I was hurting her, and she was crying. This always happens. I guess that's the reason why I do not have a sibling in real life.

As for me though, I would still be there promising her by sending text messages ( our medium ) that I would never do it again and all that, only to know that I'm going to break that promise the next day. Whatever happened the last time would happen again. ( But this time, I really promise her not to break promises, or better yet, not make a promise at all. ) Though still, at the end of the day, everything is then back to its 'normal' state, as if nothing happened between us at all. We'd still be siblings that we were from the start. Or so I hope.

Well then, for the many ( most of them bad ) things that I have done to her and the many good things that she has done for me, I guess I owe her an apology somehow. And, she really deserves it. It may not be that much, but I hope I could make it up to her.

To you my dear 'sister':

Sorry and thank you for everything. Just remember that I will always be here as your 'kuya' and I do hope that you will also be my 'ate' always. Thanks for touching my life.

Sincerely,
your dearest 'brother,' Arnel

Perhaps having an imaginary sibling was better than a real one after all. She was now my sister. Forever. So.

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flight scheduled at 12:47:00 AM
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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Turning Point

Kagulat gulat ba ang post na ito?

Kung sa tingin mo ay may mababasa ka na namang kalokohan o hindi kaya ay madugong post ngayon, sa tingin ko ay nagkakamali ka. Isipin mo naman kasi, bigyan ka ng apat na sunud-sunod na exam sa isang linggo lang, tingin mo ba makakagawa ka pa ba ng maka-nosebleed na post nun? Tingin ko hindi. Kaya nga hindi muna ako gagawa ng ganun ngayon dahil kailangan ko munang magpahinga. Ang sakit pa nga rin ng ilong ko hanggang ngayon eh. Pinilit ko lang talaga mag-update ngayon dahil baka mabulok na 'tong blog ko, wala nang bumisita. Sayang naman.

Sa totoo lang, ang daming nangyari nitong nakaraang mga linggo sa buhay ko. Pero siyempre hindi lahat ng yun ay exciting kaya kaunti lang ang ikukwento ko sa inyo. Baka kung ano ano lang din malagay ko dito, ingat ka. Baka may tamaan lang naman, lalo ka na ikaw na nagbabasa. Mabuti na yung nag-iingat tayo parati. Kailangan ring mabilis tayo sa lahat ng bagay.

Hay salamat, malapit na ring matapos ang mga bagyo sa buhay ko sa wakas. Isa na lang ang pagdadaanan kong kalbaryo (ngayong Sabado) at balik na naman sa normal ang takbo ng napakakulay na buhay ko. Baka naman gusto niyong mag-'good luck' sa akin, pagkakataon niyo na ito. Kailangan ko talaga, sa tingin ko. Kung sakali man, napakalaking tulong ang magagawa niyo para sa bayan.. Corny na, ayoko na.

Tama na muna ang pag-aaral. Hep, wag kayong magkakamali. Ang ibig kong sabihin dito ay tigil na muna ang usapan tungkol doon, hindi sa tinatamad na akong mag-aral. Kailangan ang pag aaral para sa kinabukasan natin.. Ayoko na talaga, sobrang corny na. Kasi naman 'tong mga nakikita kong campaign ad ng maga pulitiko sa TV, nakakahawa ang kakornihan nila. Ang sasarap ____ naku.. Lalo ka na P***a*, taniman kaya kita ng bomba dyan, naku makikita mo.

Maiba lang muna tayo. Ang sakit kasi talaga, dumadami na ang mga taong nakakakilala sa amin dito sa CAMP. Bakit ba kasi naisipan ko pang dumalo doon sa Game Show (February 16) at Off the Plug: Acoustic Friday (February 23) eh, ayan tuloy notorious na ang ilan sa mga boys ng block namin. Lahat tuloy ng masalubong namin sa CAMP ngingitian namin dahil ngumingiti sila (ganun kami bumati) sa amin, at kumakaway naman pag malayo. Kunsabagay, kung hindi ako pumunta ay wala naman akong mapapala. Hindi ko pa mauuwi yung gitara ko kung ganun. At saka sayang din ang exposure di ba. Hindi na rin naman maibabalik ang oras sapagkat 'time can never have a negative value' ika nga. Kaya ayun, wala na rin kaming magagawa. Think positive na lang. Sikat ka na eh, huwag ka nang umangal.

Malapit na rin ang botohan dito sa UP. Kamayan dito, kamayan doon. Nagkalat na rin ang mga campaign stickers at posters sa bawat sulok ng UP: sa pader, sa armrest ng mga upuan, sa pinto at masakit pa, sa likuran harapan buong katawan na rin yata ng bawat estudyanteng masalubong ko. Ganun katindi mangampanya. Panay na rin ang mga RTR (Room To Room, kung di mo naitatanong.) oras oras. Gusto namin yun, kasi napuputol pasumandali ang diskusyon ng prof namin sa harapan. Makakabisado ko na nga yata yung mga paulit-ulit na lines nung ibang tatakbo eh. Minsan nga lang, ayaw talaga nila kaya ayun, lalabas yung mga nangangampanya ng kuwarto na biguan.

Oo nga pala March na, ibig sabihin Fire Prevention Month na rin. Ingat lang sa paglalaro ng apoy ha [lalo ka na Billycoy hehehe], baka sumobra ang init at masunog kayo, mahirap na. Sige, kayo rin ang magsisisi sa huli. Lumabas nga rin pala kayo sa hatinggabi ng March 3 (bale, March 4 na yun ng madaling araw) at tumulala sa ilalim ng kalangitan, may lunar eclipse ng mga panahon na yun. Ayan kahit paano, may naibigay akong impormasyon dito sa post na 'to. Pasensya na talaga ha, kailangan ko na ulit 'mag-aral' eh. Sige. Isa pa pala, walang relevance ang post title, kaya hayaan niyo lang siya diyan ha?

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flight scheduled at 10:12:00 PM
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THE PILOT


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Arnel C. Uyaco Jr.
Sixteen Seventeen years old.
UP Manila Sophomore.
An alleged loverboy.
A pilot of my dreams.


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